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New Disease Discovered and Classified: ‘Gonorrhea Lectim’

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of this old disease. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim (pronounced “Gonna re-elect ‘em”).

The disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior involving putting your cranium up your rectum. Many victims contracted it in 2008 … but now most people after having been infected for the past 1-2 years are starting to realize how destructive this sickness is.

It’s curable with a new procedure just coming on the market called Vo-tem-out! You take the first dose/step in 2010 and the second dosage in 2012 and simply don’t engage in such behavior again, otherwise it could become permanent and eventually wipe out all life as we know it.

Several states are already on top of this like Virginia and New Jersey, and apparently now Massachusetts with many more seeing the writing on the wall.

Gonorrhea Lectim

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Here’s a freebie from them, hopefully to lighten your day a bit.

Pixar

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Barocky Road is a blend of half vanilla, half chocolate, and surrounded by nuts and flakes. The vanilla portion of the mix is not openly advertised and usually denied as an ingredient. The nuts and flakes are all very bitter and hard to swallow.

The cost is $100.00 per scoop. When purchased it will be presented to you in a large beautiful cone, but then the ice cream is taken away and given to the person in line behind you. You are left with an empty wallet and no change, holding an empty cone with no hope of getting any ice cream.

Are you stimulated?

Barocky Road

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Thousands of Atlanta residents have received an email warning from a police major about rising, violent crime in Zone 5, which includes neighborhoods in downtown and midtown.

Major Khirus Williams sent out the alert after a string of robberies and carjackings Monday night.

Here is some of what he wrote:

“Please, let us all keep our exterior lights on to illuminate the area. This makes the area unpopular for criminals!

“Also, please have your family, friends, and neighbors to blow their horn when arriving. This allows us to watch for them until they arrive, inside, safely. Open the window dressings and hi-light them with a flash-light. Thus, the criminal element would be aware that someone is watching!

“Furthermore, we have to minimize just visiting in the drive way, or sidewalks, at nights. I know that this is unfair, but the criminals are becoming more brazen and this is their method of attack.. Patrols throughout the City are not as common as they were in the past, as a result of furloughs.

“In closing, we have to do things differently than we did in the past, until there is a change. Please, let us minimize the opportunity for us to become victims and assist others as they return home. ”

Mr. Williams say 2 to 5 men wearing hoodies that cover their faces are armed with guns and approaching people even when they’re in groups and in lighted areas.

He also specifically references the current furloughs in the police department, which have cut patrols by 10% across the board.

“Right now, I feel like one of the most constructive things we can do is be completely honest with citizens about what they’re up against and admit that police presence won’t always be what it has been in the past,” said Mr. Williams.

So to combat rampant, out-of-control crime in Atlanta a police officer advised potential victims to blow their car horn, and shine a light in your friend’s face, and hide in fear in our homes? What an absolutely pitiful mound of helpless drivel.

What do you expect? Unemployment is up. Crime goes up. Obviously do not depend on Atlanta Police to protect you. You must learn to take care of yourself and family. The only thing I need the cops for is to write a report about the dead perp and haul the body away.

What does it say when even the cops admit that they’ve lost control and cannot be depended on to protect the citizens?

And what does it say about us if we only rely on the government, instead of ourselves, to protect us?

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