By Michael Z. Williamson at Political Humor:
- That most people are seething cauldrons of potential violence who cannot be trusted with a gun, but most people are so decent that there is no need to carry a weapon for defense.
- That when the government promises that they won’t confiscate our weapons after we register them, we can believe them, as did the Commanche, the Sioux, the Apache, the Kaw, the Cree, the Blackfoot, the Italians in NYC, the Jews in Germany, the Zulu in South Africa and the Americans at Lexington and Concord.
- That the government can control guns as well as it controls drugs.
- That the worst thing one can do if there’s an intruder in the house is get a gun and apprehend them, and the best thing on can do is pretend to be asleep and wait for them to go away, especially if they are raping your children.
- That an AK-47, designed in 1947 with a maximum effective range of 400 yards, was “designed to pierce police body armor” that didn’t exist until the 1970s at “ranges over 1000 yards.”
- That even despite that, when the risk of guns is lower than the risk of medical drugs, it’s a “national tragedy.”
- That with only 1 chance in 5 of facing violent crime, and 1 chance in 10 of a gun being used defensively, the risk is minimal and gunowners are paranoid freaks, but it is insane not to get immunized against hepatitis, which strikes 1:50,000 people.
- That we are a peaceful society, and the way to deal with people who aren’t peaceful is to send police and soldiers to peacefully persuade them with guns, and not resort to violence.
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