By Michael Z. Williamson at Political Humor:
- That most people can’t be trusted, so we should have laws against guns, which most people will abide by, because they can be trusted.
- That a woman raped and strangled with her panties is morally superior to a woman with a smoking gun and a dead rapist at her feet.
- That the ACLU is good because it uncompromisingly defends certain parts of the Constitution, but the NRA is bad because it defends other parts of the Constitution.
- That police operate in groups with backup, which is why they need larger capacity magazines than civilians, who must face criminals alone, and therefore need less ammunition.
- That we should ban gun stores near schools, because of all the 10-year-olds who are buying guns without parents’ permission.
- That guns have no legitimate use, but alcohol does, which is why we issue cops guns instead of beer.
- That guns are the gravest threat to society because 83,000,000 gun owners didn’t commit a crime yesterday.
- That a bank guard can protect money with a gun, but you cannot protect your children with one.
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