By Michael Z. Williamson at Political Humor:
- That gun owners are “potential terrorists,” because they have all the necessary equipment, just like Sarah Brady is a “potential hooker,” because she has all the necessary equipment.
- That arming police just “escalates the violence,” so to be really effective, we should ban the use of nightsticks by the police. In fact, we should ban the police. If they didn’t exist, the criminals wouldn’t need to be armed. In fact, we shouldn’t have locks on doors, because that just encourages forcible entry.
- That an intruder will be incapacitated by tear gas or oven spray, but if shot with a .44 Magnum will get angry over your retaliation and kill you.
- That Charlton Heston as president of the NRA is a shill who should be ignored, but Michael Douglas as a representative of Handgun Control, Inc. is an ambassador for peace who is entitled to an audience at the UN arms control summit.
- That ordinary people, in the presence of guns, turn into slaughtering butchers, and revert to normal when the weapon is removed.
- That the New England Journal of Medicine is filled with expert advice about guns, just as Guns and Ammo has some excellent treatises on heart surgery.
- That modern design firearms contain features such as box magazines and fiberglass stocks, which were designed for military use and shouldn’t be available to civilians, just as modern design automobiles contain features such as rack and pinion steering and McPherson struts, which were designed for the race track and shouldn’t be available to civilians.
- That rifles such as AR-15s, AK-47s and L1-A1s were designed for military shooting and shouldn’t be available to civilians, just as vehicles like Chevrolet Suburbans, Jeeps, and Land Rovers were designed as weapons platforms and military utility and shouldn’t be available to civilians.
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