Sarah Palin scolded Chuck Norris, calling him “Carlos Ray Norris”, and his testicles fell off.
Sarah Palin drives a Zamboni to work.
Sarah Palin’s suit is made from 100% dead liberal skin.
In the original version, He-Man had the power of Sarah Palin, but the writers felt this would make him way too powerful.
Sarah Palin once carved a perfect likeness of the Mona Lisa in a block of ice using only her teeth.
Sarah Palin was not flown to Ohio in charter jet – she ran as part of morning workout.
Sarah Palin doesn’t need a gun to hunt, because she can throw a bullet through an adult bull elk.
Sarah Palin doesn’t actually have an accent, it’s distortion from her telepathic broadcast directly into your brain.
Sarah Palin can divide by zero.
In 2003, the US considered deploying Sarah Palin to Iraq as a 1-woman commando squad, but wanted to make it a fair fight.
As head of Alaska’s Nat’l Guard, Sarah Palin taught troops in a training exercise to scare a grenade into not exploding.
Sarah Palin’s hotness is the largest single contributor to melting polar ice caps.
Sarah Palin drives herself to work everyday – in an M1A1 tank.
Sarah Palin wears three quarter length sleeves to keep from getting blood on her clothes when she kills liberals.
Sarah Palin’s image already appears on the newer nickels.
Sarah Palin once bagged a caribou by staring it down until it died.
Sarah Palin is the reason compasses point North.
Sarah Palin will send Biden a pre-debate cheat sheet. The sheet will have tips on defending against Kung Fu Death Grip.
Sarah Palin begins every day with a moment of silence for the political enemies buried in her yard.
Sarah Palin always beats the point spread.
Sarah Palin once bit the head off a live Osprey snatched from the air as it tried to fly off with a fish she caught.
Sarah Palin uses French Canadians as bait to catch giant king salmon.
Sarah Palin writes low level device drivers for Linux.
When Sarah Palin booked a flight to Europe, the French immediately surrendered.
Sarah Palin’s enemies are automatically added to the Endangered Species List.
Sarah Palin knows who was on the grassy knoll.
Sarah Palin’s finishing move in the VP debate will be pulling Biden’s still beating heart from his chest & taking a bite.
