Only a Southern knows the difference between a hissy fit & a conniption fit, and that you don’t “have” them, you “pitch” them.
Only a Southern knows how may fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up “a mess.”
Only a Southern knows exactly how long “directly” is, as in “Going to town, be back directly.”
Even Southern babies know that “gimme some sugar” is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
All Southerners know exactly when “by and by” is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who’s got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor’s trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana pudding.
Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol’ boy, and po’ white trash.
Southern women, the most beautiful in all the world, appreciate their natural assets: clean skin, a winning smile, and that unforgettable Southern drawl.
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
A southerner knows that “fixin” can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, and when we’re “in line” we talk to everybody.
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they’re related, even if only by marriage
In the South, “y’all” is singular; “all y’all” is plural.
Southerners always know the summer weather report: June is hot and humid, July is hot and humid, August is hot and humid.
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and the fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
When you hear someone say, “well, I caught myself lookin’,” you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner.
Southern women know everybody’s first name: Honey, Darlin’, or Shugah.
Only true Southerners say “sweet tea” and “sweet milk”. Sweet tea indicates that need for sugar and lots of it–we do not like our tea unsweetened. “Sweet milk” means that you don’t want buttermilk.
A true Southerner knows you don’t scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, “Bless her heart” and go your own way. We respect our elders.
Southern men know their religions: Baptist, Methodist, and Football.
To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerners: take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless you heart.
To those or you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, “Bless your hearts, I hear they’s fixin’ to have classes on ‘Southern’ as a second language.”
And for those that are not from the South but lived here for a long time, y’all needs a sign to hang on y’alls front porch that reads “I ain’t from the South, but I gots here as fast as I could.”
