According to “In Touch Weekly” magazine these are the results from a last year’s Top 10 contest.
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So what are we judging here? Could it be atheletics, working towards world peace, a medical discovery, creating jobs for the homeless, or other worthy endeavor?
What do all the above have in common? What do they “have” that is so much greater than the rest of us great unwashed?
Here’s a hint: regarding Top 10 winner Jessica Simpson, hers have an outside circumference greater in value than her IQ.
Yep, the magazine’s contest was “who has the best cleavage in Hollywood?” Hezbollah is killing innocent Israeli grandmothers, AIDS is killing innocent children across Europe, people in Africa are starving, the US ghetto is swamped with illegal drugs and crime, little girls are being sold into sex slavery in Thailand … and In Touch Weekly is worried about which starlet has the nicest boobs.
And it’s not like many on the above list were endowed by God with anything special either. Most can attribute their “success” in this “contest” to simply having a lot of money and a good doctor.
So let’s raise a toast, I guess, to Jessica and her beautiful breasts. Let’s applaud In Touch Weekly for their keen insight into this clock-stopping discovery.
Yeah, I’m on a soapbox here. But I find myself both embarassed and disgusted that so many in the US are so concerned with celebrities and “their looks”. It’s no wonder that so many teenage girls have such unhealthy opinions of their own bodies and their own self-worth when they spend so much time studying and comparing themselves to brain-dead celebrities. Does anyone, outside of a thousand over-horny college frat boys and two thousand insecure teenaged girls, really care about Jessica’s melons? When are we, as a society, going to decide that a woman’s value is more than her cup size?
Do not worry that more than 25,000 people die of starvation every day, or more than 800 million people are chronically undernourished, or, on average, every five seconds a child dies from starvation in the world.
Do not worry that every two and a half minutes someone is sexually assaulted somewhere in America.
Do not worry that an estimated 38.6 million people now living with HIV/AIDS disease worldwide, or that it has killed more than 25 million people since it was first recognized in 1981.
Do not worry that Iranian President Ahmadinejad is making speech after speech saying, “The wave of the Islamic revolution will soon reach the entire world” or promising to “wipe off this stigma (Israel) from the face of the Islamic world, … The World without Zionism” or “Anybody who recognizes Israel will burn in the fire of the Islamic nation’s fury”.
As long as Jessica, and the others, are recognized for their magnificent mammaries then everything’s right with the world.
Bah. Maybe I’m being too hard on this. What’s wrong with wishing you had someone else’s body – either as a replacement of your own body, or being able to use it for your own physical pleasure? What’s wrong with reducing a person of love, compassion, intelligence, worth, future, and loyalty down to nothing more than a mobile set of large boobs? What should I care if my daughter’s new boyfriend tells me “she ain’t much for talking to, but I do like pawing her hooters”? It’s OK, isn’t it, to trade in your wife of 20 years once her breasts sag below that of a 20-year-old college girl? The only reason you pay $10 to see a movie is not for the story or the sound or the cinematography or special effects but rather the fact that the bottle-blonde bimbo flashes her surgically-enhanced nipples, right? And doesn’t every man choose his future bride based on the mass of her funbags and not the depth of her soul?
I need a drink.
